


Lost Without You

by Koutarou_Bokuto2021



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28718913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koutarou_Bokuto2021/pseuds/Koutarou_Bokuto2021
Summary: “I understand why volleyball was so important to him.” He cried, Akaashi coming over to sit next to him. “What important to who your brother?” Tsukishima shook his head. “No Yamaguchi.” Akaashi was confused. “Who’s Yamaguchi?” Akaashi asked softly. He always thought that Tsukishima was talking about his brother.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Kudos: 20





	Lost Without You

Tsukishima was in the bathroom crying when the door suddenly opened, Akaashi came in. “ hey what’s wrong Tsukishima.” Tsukishima held back a sob not being able to form words. He took a deep breath managing to calm down slightly. “I understand why volleyball was so important to him.” He cried, Akaashi coming over to sit next to him. “What important to who your brother?” Tsukishima shook his head. “No Yamaguchi.” Akaashi was confused. “Who’s Yamaguchi?” Akaashi asked softly, He always thought Tsukishima was talking about his brother. Tsukishima shook his head feeling his whole shatter. “Please don’t say that you know who he is. He’s my best friend. He played with me on my team. He was barely on the court but he was there right?” He called out starting to get angry. Not at akaashi but at himself. He felt his whole world starting to fall apart. Akaashi pulled him into a tight hug. “Hey it's okay shhh I'm sorry I said that.” Tsukishima started having flashbacks of Yamaguchi. From when they first met, to when they became best friends, to where he watched his best friend die, even to the promise he made at his grave of him holding onto a stuffed dinosaur. Tsukishima cried louder. “He was never there it was all in my head.” Akaashi hugged him tightly. “Tell me about this Yamaguchi that you speak of. It helps to be able to talk about it.” Tsukishima took a few deep breaths finally calming down enough to speak these words. “He....he was amazing and kind. I was at my best, when I was with him. 

___FlashBack___

Growing up Tsukishima was very arrogant but also nice in his own way. Yamaguchi was a very nice smiley person. He was someone who smiles and even wants to be your friend. Even if you make fun of him. Yamaguchi never looked down on someone. Tsukishima met Yamaguchi after, His brother and him got into a fight over volleyball. “The people at school think I’m a joke. They think I’m a liar trying to fit in. And that’s all because of you.” Tsukishima ran out of the gym crying. While his brother stood there in shock and speechless. Tsukishima kept on running until he saw a park. He sat against the tree pulling his legs up. He put his forehead against his knees. He start to cry out of anger and sadness. He suddenly heard a lot of squeaking noises and walking sounds but chose to ignore it. Suddenly something soft get dropped onto his head. “Hey, when I get sad. I hug my dino stuffy. It makes me feel better.” Tsukishima grabs the stuffy and throws it before calling out. “Go away.” He wouldn’t even look up at the other kid. “Hey please don't throw my stuffy. This one is my favorite. I saw you from my window and I thought you might need a friend to make you feel better.” Tsukishima looked up wiping his tears away. He gasped softly at the sight of a young green haired boy. There stood a boy hooked up to a breathing machine. His eyes looked really tired. He was really skinny. Skin and bones at this point. “Hey I’m Yamaguchi but you can call me Yams.” Tsukishima nodded his head standing up clearing his throat. “Hello my name is Tsukishima. I'm sorry I threw your stuffy.” he walked over picking up the medium-sized soft stuffy. “Its alright.” the younger boy smiled big. “Just please don't throw it again tsukki.” Tsukishima made a face. “Whats with that nickname?” Yamaguchi smiled happily. “Thats the nickname that only I can call you.” Tsukishima nodded his head. “Hmm fine then only I can call you yams. Is that a deal?” He asked holding his hand out. Yamaguchi nodded his head putting his hand in Tsukshimas. “Deal.” Both of them smiled at each other.

__Flashback over__

“That's how we met. Yamaguchi was so nice while I was so mean to him.” Akaashi nodded his head. “I see… in a way kind of like Oikawa and Iwaizumi.’ Tsukishima nodded his head. “Yeah, except I was only nice to him and no one else. He got to see every side of me. While everyone else saw what I wanted them to see.” Tsukishima had a small smile. “We became best friends through volleyball. I hated every second of it, but Yamaguchi pushed me to play everyday with him sooner or later it became part of my daily routine.” Akaashi nodded his head, enjoying seeing Tsukishima smile, that's the first time he’s ever seen his smile.

___Flashback___

“Come on toss to me and then quickly block. I want to be the best.” Yamaguchi pleaded and begged. “Please tsukki.” He had said it in a very soft tone. Tsukishima sighed softly. “I can never say no to you especially when you say it like that. Fine whatever I’ll play but after we are done. we are going to play video games.” Yamaguchi quickly nodded his head up and down. “Yes we will play all you want.” They played until dusk, there was still some light out but barely. “Come on Yams we gotta get you back to the hospital in time for you to get your meds plus we can also play the new video game I bought.” 

__Flashback over__

Tsukishima clears his throat wiping his tears away. “Yams and I got into a fight about volleyball. I said it was stupid and he snapped. I’ve never seen such fire in him until then. He was truly amazing.” Tsukishima smiled softly at that thought. 

__Flashback__

Tsukishima had smacked the ball down getting another point. He sighed softly rolling his eyes. “Come on yams this is getting boring, all we do is play volleyball everyday.’ He sighed annoyed going over to the bench grabbing his stuff. “Volleyball is stupid and boring. I'm done playing.” He didn’t even notice that yamaguchi was shaking in anger. “Let’s just go back to the hospital. We can probably still play video games or something. Depending on which nurse you have today” Yamaguchi picked up the volleyball smacking Tsukishima's head with it. “You idiot you just don’t get it. You have your life to do with what you want. I don’t I’m dying and I can’t do anything about it. You can run, jump….You can fly… While I'm hooked up to a breather. I can’t go far without it. I'm chained to the ground yet you can travel the world. I’m stuck here with a broken wing slowly dying. I want to play volleyball because for a few seconds, I feel like I can fly high. I may be bad at it. just ….those...few moments of peace. I feel like it's just me and the ball. Then my dream will be-” Tsukishima cut him off. “You're not going to die...You're gonna stay here with me. You aren’t going anywhere. If you do go some where I’ll go too. If you play volleyball I’ll play to It’s us against the world.” Yamaguchi eyes filled with tears at his words. “My dream is to travel around the world and play volleyball does that mean you’ll be there with me?” Tsukishima nodded his head. “Yes, it’ll be us the iconic duo.” Yamaguchi nodded his head smiling happily. “Good.” 

__Flashback over.__

Tsukishima felt more tears go down his face. “When he died…. I felt lost and empty….We were playing volleyball and he just started breathing heavier, he was in and out of consciousness. I was screaming and no one helped. So I had to run.....by the time I brought him to the hospital he stopped breathing....he died in my arms.”

__Flashback__

Yamaguchi was breathing abnormally, Tsukishima thought that it was because of volleyball. “Hey let-” he had gotten cut off by Yamaguchi breathing heavily and coughing.his face was turning red. Tsukishima had no idea what to do. “Help someone please help me. My friend he's not breathing.” Tsukishima had picked up Yamaguchi and started running to the hospital. “Stay with me until we get there.” Yamaguchi kept going in and out of consciousness . Tsukishima ran and he had tears going down his face. “Hey stay awake Yamaguchi, don’t fall asleep on me just yet. We’ll make it in time.” They finally arrived at the hospital and Tsukishima was calling out for help. “Someone please help.” a doctor rushed forward and took Yamaguchi away. Tsukishima pulled his phone out and called Yamaguchi's parents. An hour later Yamaguchi's parents came rushing in “Tsukishima.” The mother had called out. He pointed towards the room where the doctors were. The parents walked into the room and they started talking to the doctor the mother suddenly crying into the dads chest. While the dad looked like he was trying to be strong but his bottom lip was quivering. Tsukishima was confused and scared. The mother looked at him waved him to come into the room. Tsukishima got closer. “W-whats wrong….Why are you crying?” He asked staring at the mom. She smiles sadly trying not to have a mental break down. “Its time to say goodbye to Yamaguchi.” Tsukishima was confused. “Oh do you want me to come back tomorrow? I was hoping I could actually stay the night. We were suppose to-“ The mother shook her head. “No...I mean…-” She gets cut off by Yamaguchi. “Its time for me to go Tsukki.” Tsukishima was confused by Yamaguchi's words. “Go where? Where are you going?” Yamaguchi smiled sadly at Tsukishima. “It’s time for me to fly high and see the world.” Tsukishima eyes filled with tears. “O-oh….. Your gonna go without me…” Tears fell out of Yamaguchi eyes. “Will you let me see the world?” Tsukishima nodded his head. “Yeah go see the world. I’ll catch up with you some day.” Yamaguchi nodded his head his hand shaking reaching over grabbing the stuffed dinosaur that had caused their whole friendship to began Reaching over giving it to Tsukishima. He had gently handed the stuffy to him. Look after him while I’m gone.” Tsukishima nodded his head his tears falling down. Yamaguchi grabbed his hand gently. “You will always be my best friend Tsukki.” Tsukishima gently laid his head on Yamaguchi's stomach. “You will always be my best friend to Yams.” Yamaguchi smiled slowly his breathing slowed he took one final deep breath. Then there was a long beep that followed the deep breath. The nurse turned the sound off speaking into a soft tone. “I’m sorry he's gone.” Tsukishima shook his head. “No he's not. He'll wake up he always does. Please come back Yamaguchi. You still have to learn the jump float. You also have to learn to break through my walls when I block. Come on wake up please.” He begged crying shaking Yamaguchi shoulders one tear fell out of Yamaguch's eye. 

__flashback over__

Tsukishima stared at the wall in deep thought. Akaashi gently rubbing Tsukishima arm. “Hey you disappeared again into deep thought.” Tsukishima shook his head. “Sorry.... I've been doing that all day. I was think about when he died. He died when I entered middle school. I couldn't believe it.... I couldn't bring to visit his grave....or go to his funeral.... I thought if I didn't go. Yamaguchi wouldn't actually be dead. However after a couple of years I finally brought myself to Yamaguchi grave I vowed that i’d become the best blocker there is. I'm still going to keep that promise. I know, I have a lot to learn but for Yamaguchi. I'd do anything.” 

__flashback__

Tsukishima stood over Yamaguchi grave. It was pouring out rain he had the dino stuffy in one hand. He glared at the ground. The rain mixing in with his own tears. “H-hey... It's been a few years...i’m going into high school now.....sorry I haven't visited. I've been busy trying to process everything. I um....i write everyday to you and I burn it at night. Hoping you see it.“ Tsukishima took a deep breath smiling softly. “You said you wanted to see the world... And I said go... I'm lost without you. I hoped that one day...it would be us on that court. You as the captain and me as the best middle blocker.... I promise you I will show you what it is to see that other end of the court. I promise I will become the best blocker there is. So watch over me and guide me through my way of victory. I'll make you proud Yamaguchi.” He pointed at the sky smiling big. He turned and walked away the sky starting to clear up and the sun beaming down on him. He had a motivated look on his face. “No one is going to get in my way.” A crow had gently landed on Tsukishima shoulder before flying off. He smiled softly. in away he thought that was Yamaguchi saying he was watching. 

__flashback over__ 

Akaashi smiled softly hearing his words. He stood up holding his hand out to him. “Well then show Yamaguchi what you've got, he was watching after all and show him a good reason on why he should be proud of you.” Tsukishima grabbed Akaashi arm pulling himself up nodding. “Right!” Akaashi was proud of Tsukishima. He's never seen this side of him before and he loved it. “Go knock down everyone's walls” tsukshima nodded his head running off down the hallway thinking to himself. ‘You better be watching yams. This right here will be our moment. Your flying high right now. Soon so will I.


End file.
